unconditional

My Dad. He's a handful. A handful of Motivation. Always pushing me and my siblings to be our very best. My brother and sister. They are my everything. Their my reason for breathing. Them and God. I know my Dad loves me, I'm just not sure what kind of love it happens to be. I've always felt like an outcast. My mind works different. The things I say are most time what's on my mind. For some, its to much, but as for how much I care, I don't. I've never felt like I belonged to him. Not the way everyone else seemed so comfortable around him. I love him. I do. I guess you could say he had his plate full. I'm not trying to speak bad of him. I just don't really have the right words to write. He is my Father. He is the reason I do foolish things, but he's also the reason I want so badly to succeed. For him and myself. I know people are always saying you should live your life for yourself and be your own motivation, but honeslty my dad has struggled his whole life trying to give me and my brother and sister better. And even though deep down inside I want so badly to shout in his face and get him to understand me and my ambitions, I know if I ever needed someone in the blink of an eye, He'd be the Guy. He deserves the best. So yes. We have a complicated story. We don't share feelings. We don't say much at all. We talk about sports and work. One day we'll have a real conversation. Where money is no object, and stress is nothing but a word. One day he'll be proud of me and all I have grown to become. One day, we'll be at peace. And I'll feel at home.